An explanation of the title of my blog
Okay, I just looked at the first entry and realized some or many would think, "What could be wonderful about finding out you have breast cancer?"
Believe me, getting that news was anything BUT wonderful! No, it was scary to the extreme. However, wonderful things happened in my life before cancer and they still do happen after that word has become a part of my self-image.
Here are some of the wonderful things that have happened:
Peace and calmness are still with me. Am I just in a denial state? Perhaps somewhat. However, knowing is better than not knowing. Also, I believe that this is a gift from God. It is also partly a self-protecting psychological defense.
Loved ones and friends have rallied around me. I am filled with gratitude for this. They have let me talk, and talk, and talk. Some have offered specific kinds of help. It is such a gift to be inspired in how to help someone in need.
Humor is still in my life. I have been given some funny jokes and I have been able to see humor and absurdity in some of these events.
The weather has been so nice this week. I have been enjoying the walks from the parking lot into work.
The doctors and professionals I have encountered have been kind, competent, caring, and decent. I did not have to wait for days to find out the diagnosis.
I was given a new book. Not a book I wanted - Susan Love's Breast Book - but still for someone like me, who owns thousands of books, it may be one of the best books I'll ever read.
My family doctor spent more than an hour last evening checking in with me over the phone. Amazing to me that she would do this, but so very much appreciated and uplifting.
So, cancer is not wonderful. Life is wonderful. There are wonderful parts of every day. I want to celebrate them and establish a basket full of wonderful memories, thoughts, images, poetry, music, feelings, encounters, and people so that in the times to come that may really, really suck I can remember and remind myself that my life is more than cancer and I have a lot to live for. I'll try not to be a Pollyanna wanna-be, but I do want to be more positive than negative, more grateful than angry, more giving then self-centered, more knowledgeable than ignorant, and more happy than sad.
Believe me, getting that news was anything BUT wonderful! No, it was scary to the extreme. However, wonderful things happened in my life before cancer and they still do happen after that word has become a part of my self-image.
Here are some of the wonderful things that have happened:
Peace and calmness are still with me. Am I just in a denial state? Perhaps somewhat. However, knowing is better than not knowing. Also, I believe that this is a gift from God. It is also partly a self-protecting psychological defense.
Loved ones and friends have rallied around me. I am filled with gratitude for this. They have let me talk, and talk, and talk. Some have offered specific kinds of help. It is such a gift to be inspired in how to help someone in need.
Humor is still in my life. I have been given some funny jokes and I have been able to see humor and absurdity in some of these events.
The weather has been so nice this week. I have been enjoying the walks from the parking lot into work.
The doctors and professionals I have encountered have been kind, competent, caring, and decent. I did not have to wait for days to find out the diagnosis.
I was given a new book. Not a book I wanted - Susan Love's Breast Book - but still for someone like me, who owns thousands of books, it may be one of the best books I'll ever read.
My family doctor spent more than an hour last evening checking in with me over the phone. Amazing to me that she would do this, but so very much appreciated and uplifting.
So, cancer is not wonderful. Life is wonderful. There are wonderful parts of every day. I want to celebrate them and establish a basket full of wonderful memories, thoughts, images, poetry, music, feelings, encounters, and people so that in the times to come that may really, really suck I can remember and remind myself that my life is more than cancer and I have a lot to live for. I'll try not to be a Pollyanna wanna-be, but I do want to be more positive than negative, more grateful than angry, more giving then self-centered, more knowledgeable than ignorant, and more happy than sad.
posted by Mary @ 7:44 AM
4 Comments:
At 10:17 AM,
Theresa said…
Hi Mary from an AK lister. Attitude is one of the greatest factors in how people deal with and experience serious health conditions like cancer, so you are off to a good start. Surround yourself with realistic but positive people who love you to help carry you along and encourage you on the tough days! From your writing it sounds like you believe in God...rely on His strength which will never fail you. He will walk through you with every treatment, every side effect, every tear, every joy and every doctor's visit. God bless you in your journey! Theresa
At 11:35 AM,
THE KNITORIOUS MRS. B said…
dear mary,
as a knitter i can certainly appreciate the comfort knitting provides through life's joys and difficulties. as a nurse i see all the hope invested in each stitch you will knit. i will kept you in my prayers. you have a terrific attitude, but if your strength should waver, remember to turn to those who love and care about you for support.
very best regards,
linda
www.theknitoriousmrsb.blogspot.com
At 6:29 PM,
Unknown said…
Mary - It is so possible to go through this experience with a great attitude. That was my goal last time this year and here I am a year later laughing, smiling, and thriving. Well, most of the time at least. I realized that if the worst happened, I didn't want my precious time to be spent sad, angry, and missing out on the gift of life. Sure, it is a rollercoaster ride like no other, but when you get to this side of the ride, you feel the exhilleration. You're in my thoughts and prayers. Let me know if I can be of any support to you or if you need to talk to someone who has been through it. All the best to you!
At 9:54 PM,
kevin said…
Good luck in you journey. Your attitude will make this journey so much easier on your family. I was allowed spend twelve years with one of the strogest and most inspiring women I ever met and her attitude was just like yours. She also could find humor in the day to day, and see the positive in each step she took. Your family are very fortunate to be with a person like you. Blessings to you
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